Moving Violations

A paper arrest?
Is this even possible?

Either way, I'm pretty sure the proper response to "What does this mean?" isn't:

"You can't drive, but I bet you can read. You wear those 'smart' glasses, so read it yourself."

I guess I'll ask him again in court.

9D25

Yes, it is nice that your wife packed a bagged lunch for you.
No, I don't want a sip of your juicebox-sized Lactaid.

Yes, I can see that it fits into the slot between the handle and the door. Yes, it is perfect.

(I'm not tolerant of much, but I can handle lactose. Never fake milk, and never anything from an undersized straw that's been in a strange driver's mouth. Sorry.)

The Gulf War Did Not Take Place

I sort of loved The Gulf War Did Not Take Place.

Baudrillard's NYT obituary, however, is a pretty poor piece of work. Mentioning The Matrix in the first sentence? Ending with a bored retort to banal criticism? I saw the man speak only once and I know that he deserves something much funnier than that.

(And the cover of the new paperback is not nearly as pretty as that on the first.)

Sumimasen (Or, I Am Sorry To Bother You And Thank You For Doing This.)

For the past few years, a common refrain has been, "Let's quit what we're doing and open a Muji store in New York!" Luckily, it's being done for us. I'm happy. Even (especially?) if they keep knocking-off Asfour bags.

6P92

Yes, that's your tip.
No, I don't want one from you.

Short Trips

• THINGS WE DON’T UNDERSTAND AND DEFINITELY ARE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT is "a tale of heartbreak and obsession that is so familiar you could tell it yourself." And Miranda July is, as always, spot-on and gorgeous. (The Kitchen)


• On Wednesday night, at Union Hall, I saw Changing Your Life One Song At A Time, a super bill made up of: Tim Fite (uh, who knew there was more talent in Little-T than the magic that created Shaniqua?), Will Kidman/Woolly Leaves (such sweet strum-y songs), and Marla Hansen (who turns the viola on its side, literally, and to beautiful effect, and who was backed on two songs by "Steve Stevens." If she wasn't so great, her joke and her giggle about that allonym -- and her own: Marla Maples -- might have stolen the show).


• Not a short trip: SA goes to Iraq, tomorrow. (THFTNR)


• The Vegas Diner is closed by the Board of Health on the same day that it was featured in The Village Voice (in a story by CZ and beneath a photo by me). CZ closed a chapter with the VV this week too. We're proud of her. (VV)


• I like Libertine. I like the copies I've made (with stamps and lots of newspaper spread on top of my kitchen table) of Libertine clothing even more. And now, a Target line. (I doubt there will be a down-market version of the Libertine/Goyard collaboration, though.) (RADAR)


• Ceci n'est pas un cab part two. (NYT)

Lot

A short school bus spent the night in the yard with two taxis.
(I passed it on my way to work.)
A pair of regulation-size school buses slept there too.

Ceci N'est Pas Une Cab

This is not a cab. (NYM)

Short Trips

• I'm not finding any of this to be "a hoot." A fascinating indicator of some odd need to pretend to integrate fashion-speak/standards into security-wear, but not a hoot. (TNR)
• Marc Jacobs mulls Marc3, makes me a happy girl. (IHT)
• Don't be sad; we didn't discover Sunny's either. Here's to bluegrass society meetings in the backroom. (NYT)
• The new New York Ghost features Toni Schlesinger and a mail-in offer from a seamstress! Sign up! Sign up! (NYG)

2P57

Ten months old.
(DATE: 5/25/06)
All mixed-up.

Oh! See?

So Seth Cohen got into a cab.

"I called it," I thought. The O.C. version of the Six Feet Under ending.
(I'd been waiting for it all day.)

And then Ryan got into his car.

And the strumming of the folkpop with the word "pulverize," and the reference to song, and the sentiment about life and leaving and losing and yuck.

For the record, I shed my first tear of the night when Julie Cooper picked up the college catalogue. (What's wrong with me?) I snorted in disbelief when they made it look like, in the fake future, Caitlin and Bullet were a couple. I am glad that yarmulkes made one more appearance on Fox.

But that final shot? Who framed that?

And why fast forward if you're not going to go all the way?

I bet that Oliver outlived them all.

Things (One)

• Something about all endings including driving.
  

Plus

I could count the receipts, but I'm bad at math.
Eight rides in two days? Nine rides in three?
I assure you, there were many.

(I'm not sure you want to be assured.)

The Prettiest Place

Grand Central is one of my favorite places in all of New York.
LF and BS are two of my favorite people in all of New York.
(I mean, LS and BS are two of my favorite people in all of New York.)

Thus, this was perfect.

Big Love

"You should get the marriage. Marriage is the biggest," he said.

And he repeated. Throughout the entire ride from Brooklyn to the Chelsea Piers.

I didn't give him such a big tip.

5P68

Sounds like my address.
Drives like an escalator.

6A44

Cut corners.
Didn't laugh when I towel-dried my hair.

No Number

It wasn't the cold.
It was the fact that every boy in the entire city decided to splurge for a taxi at the same time.

We took the train.
Which was festive.

Things, Some

• Something about festival dailies.
  
• Something about frozen dumplings.
  
• Something about that stranger, leaning against the doors for the entire ride, writing alternating lines in blue pen and in black pen in a tiny notebook, and never messing up, and balancing.
  
• Something about Botox and sweating.
  
• Something about where they keep the carts at night and when it's cold.
  
• Something about this being the block where I lost you.
  
• Something about the bakery staying open for one more holiday's haul.
  

And, By Pretty, I Mean Stunning

In light of the boy who once asked, incredulously, "But, Jen Snow, I thought you had a heart of stone!?" there is this:

On Saturday night I drove over the Brooklyn Bridge. For the first time.
And I cried.

It was overwhelmingly pretty and then I realized that it was also the only thing holding me above all of that water. And that I should try to stay in my lane. And that it's really small, but really big. And, apparently, really tear-worthy.

Give It To Me

Sometimes, when you're driving, if you give someone the finger because they have been honking their horn behind you for the past five minutes, they will zoom in front of you (across a double yellow line) when the light changes and then at the next light they will get out of their car and walk, in a style that can be most closely likened to bow-leggedness, toward your car, and you will make a big show of dramatically locking your door, and then the light will change and you will drive around him, and his big stupid car, both of which are now stuck standing in the street.

1E22

I'm sort of scared of whatever it is that is frozen to the seat.

Fashion Weak

8G99

Yes, I am wearing Keds.
No, I don't want to know how you can see that.